A few weeks ago I participated in a man’s rite of passage. The passage from being a man one day…to being a man who won’t be creating any more kids the next. That’s right…it starts with a “V” and rhymes with schlasectomy. Overall, it wasn’t too bad. The worst was the interminable drive home when I felt like I was going to die. But, once I got home, I did a lot of resting and felt much better. For the next couple days, it was actually nice to have no responsibilities…and lots of drugs (prescribed by the doctor).
Julia was amazing. Whenever I needed something, she was there. Books, remote controls, ice, food, pillows, movies, water…more ice…she was ready with it all! I got taco pie, guacamole, frosted lemonade…whatever I wanted. After all (in the words on Phil Dunphy), “is it a vasecta-you or a vasecta-me?” I felt so loved how she took care of me. I felt free to rest and to allow myself to be taken care of.
It was a difficult weekend for Julia though. She was waiting on me hand and foot, plus taking care of Eli, plus visiting with out of town company and baking things. She was stressed and I could feel it.
It was tough for me to be passive, especially as I started to feel a little better. I wanted to stop and clean up the kitchen. I wanted to tell her to sit down and relax while I made a nice dinner. But, she wouldn’t let me. She knew that the most important thing was for me to rest so my body can heal. She was determined to take care of me and wouldn’t have it any other way. So, I had to resist the urge to exert myself. Julia was right. It was the right move, and the rest I got helped me to recover quickly.
Looking back on it, it was actually a really awesome weekend. I felt special and very much loved. I learned first-hand from Julia’s example how much taking care of your spouse means to the person being taken care of.
My advice to you:
Sometimes you will be the person that needs the help, and sometimes you will be the person who needs to be helping. In either case, do your job well! I know that I will be there for Julia the next time she’s in the spot I was. Make sure you see when your wife needs it and help her out too.