Imagine your wife is holding a large bucket filled to the top with water. Now imagine that water level is directly correlated to how loved she feels from you…it is her love tank. That’s awesome because the bucket is totally full! She’s happy, you’re happy…everything is awesome! But, after a bit of time you forget to clean the dishes like you promised and the bucket gets bumped and some of the water splashes out. That’s ok…there’s still a lot of water in it and she’s still feeling pretty loved. But, a little later, you let her know that you told the guys you would go out with them…but forgot to make sure she was cool with it. Uh oh…more water gets knocked out. Then, you make a comment about an outfit she’s wearing and a bunch of water spills out. Well…now she’s down to very little water in the bucket. And remember what the water is correlated with?…how loved she feels! So, now that her tank is about empty, she’s not feeling the love anymore. Life’s not so awesome now.
So to fix this, an easy solution is to just tiptoe around life and make sure not to “bump the water bucket”…right???? Just be really careful that you don’t mess anything up and you’ll be good????? Unfortunately there is one more detail in this love tank. There are small holes poked in the bottom. So, even if you don’t knock any water out…it will still slowly disappear.
Fortunately, you have the ability to replace water in the tank. You do this by showing your wife love (gifts, service, physical touch, kind words, spending time together…see my previous post for info on 5 love languages if you’re not familiar). What is it that makes your wife feel loved? Telling her something you admire about her, going out on a date, cooking dinner for her, buying her a new pair of earrings? When you do these things, you help put water back in her tank.
Do you KNOW what fills up your wife’s tank? Don’t just assume it’s buying her a box of chocolates. That may not actually mean as much to her as you think. Sit down and ASK her, “what fills up your love tank?” It’s an easy question and should be easy for her to answer. Chances are she will want to know about you also, which is great because…YOU’VE GOT A BUCKET TOO! The more each of you know about what fills up each other’s love tanks…the better you’ll be able to keep them filled.
My challenge to you:
Low Bucket Syndrome (or LBS) is a condition that NO ONE wants their wife to have. Luckily it is 100% preventable by YOU! In order to prevent, you need to consciously be working on it. Know what fills her tanks and always be finding ways to fill it up. Also, it does help if you don’t knock water out.