For anyone who has ever learned to play golf, you know how tough it is to learn how to get your swing down. When you’re trying to do it, there are a million things you’re trying to remember all at once in order to do it right…keep my arm straight, head down, back straight, bend my knees, wait…not that much, don’t swing too hard, what was the first thing again??? One way that helps to learn is to practice a lot focusing on one area at a time until you get it down. Once that happens, it becomes second nature, and you no longer have to think about THAT thing and you can add in the next.
Loving your wife well can also be very difficult. And learning to do it right can be taught the same way. If you don’t feel you do a good job with loving her now, it can be a little overwhelming trying to think through all the things you need to do…
- tell her you love her regularly
- buy her gifts to show her you value her
- compliment how she looks
- be a spiritual leader for her
- spend time together (alone) on dates or vacations
- show physical affection (that’s not sex)
- surprise her by doing things around the house that she normal would
This list is only a small fraction of what loving your wife can look like. So, how are you supposed to remember it all?? The answer is…you can’t! Just like swinging a golf club, there is no way I can remember every thing I need to do in the 2 seconds it takes to swing. However, with enough practice, I don’t have to think about each of the steps, and I’m able to do it automatically.
My advice to you:
If you have areas where you’re not doing a good job loving your wife, don’t try to do it all at once. Rather, think about focusing on one thing at a time. If you keep your focus small it’s much easier to remember and to do it right. Then, after you have created a habit and are able to do it without thinking, add in something else. Eventually you’ll be able to remember all the things you want to because they will be habits you don’t even need to think about. So…the question is what ONE area are you going to focus on first??