Sometimes Julia and I have different opinions about how we should spend our money. That doesn’t mean we always do what I want. And it doesn’t mean we always do what she wants. We try to make large decisions together, but ultimate we have decided that finances are my area of responsibility…meaning I have to make the final call. So…when we’re not on the same page about something big, it’s bound to lead to conflict.
So, rewind to last year when Julia discovered the musical Hamilton. It was new on Broadway and got amazing reviews and a lot of hype. Julia instantly became obsessed with it…not in an unhealthy way…but simply meaning, she thought it was amazing and wanted to go see it SO much. So, she made sure I was aware of her desire, but all I could see was large dollar signs. First off, you can’t buy tickets for any shows in the next year because they’re sold out. So, you have to buy resale tickets costing several hundreds of dollars a piece. Plus, we’d have to fly to New York, stay in the city, and eat in the city…all of which are very expensive activities. Not to mention getting around and all the other sight-seeing we’d end up doing. This cost added to the fact that we’ve been to New York a couple times before led to me NOT wanting to do it.
After resigning herself to the disappointment that we would not be going, she was able to share her heart with me. Musicals have always had a special place in her life. Growing up, her family would go see musicals at The Fox downtown and she had such great memories of listening to the recordings, reading through all the programs, and remembering the fun her family had. One of her dreams has always been to see a musical on Broadway with the original cast. So…enter the obsession with Hamilton.
Now, to give perspective…Julia doesn’t ask for much. She spends hardly any money on herself. She doesn’t have expensive tastes…a BIG shopping trip means a few things from Target…half of which are eventually returned. I have it pretty easy…and I am very aware of this. So I started to think…it would be a great way to love Julia if we DID go! Add that to the fact that giving gifts is one of her top love languages, and I started to realize that this could be a great opportunity.
So, we did it! The tickets weren’t cheap, but I felt a lot better when I found out later (after the Grammy’s and Oscar’s) that they were selling for double what we paid. Also, we found ways to get great deals on a hotel and most of the places we ate, so the cost wasn’t as bad as it could have been. And you know what…it was an awesome trip! We both had the best time…not just going to the show, but also seeing different areas of the city that we’d never been to before. I was so glad we took the trip…even though I didn’t want to do it at first.
My advice to you:
Spoil your wife every once in a while. It doesn’t have to be with an expensive trip. It could be something like making the kid’s lunches for a week, or doing all the laundry sometime when she’s away, or taking her out to eat at a nicer than normal restaurant. Find something that your wife will not expect but will LOVE…suck it up…and make it happen!