Some people have stories of love at first sight…how they knew they would be married from the moment they met. That sounds great, but it was NOT our experience. I thought Julia was annoying and she thought I was pretentious…it was the beginning of a beautiful relationship. After a few years of friendship, one day we realized we were kind of into each other…and 12 years later…here we are!
No matter how well suited a couple may be, there are ALWAYS little things that can be annoying. It may be the way they leave clothes lying around, or the way they laugh, or the way they don’t listen well, or the way they brush their teeth, or anything! I know there are plenty of things that I do that I’m sure are annoying to Julia. Snoring, waking up early, leaving water around the sink, my aversion to being late, and much more. These are all things that I’m sure are annoying to her. If I tried, I could probably come up with a few things that are currently annoying about Julia…but I’m not going to do that. And if you tried, you could probably do the same about your wife…but I’m not going to recommend it.
Here’s the thing…it doesn’t do you any good to focus on things that annoy you about your spouse. So, here is what I suggest. Try to view these issues as unique aspects that you are privileged to know about them. The fact that I get to experience these things with Julia shows that we’re living life together. I don’t JUST love the good parts of her and put up with the rest. I love the COMPLETE Julia. I don’t want to change these things about her, because if I did, then she wouldn’t be the same person.
In the grand scheme of things, these sort of things don’t really matter. Now, if she had a habit of making fun of me behind my back to jewelry store clerks where she spent elaborate amounts of money we didn’t have and then lied to me about the purchases…THEN I would be pretty upset. But, if the extent of her foibles center around issues like not liking to eat leftovers…I can just LOL about it.
My advice to you…don’t sweat the little things. Try to keep things in perspective. I’m sure there are probably habits that annoy you about your spouse. But, take it in stride. Remember what is important in life. Love them for who they are, not in spite of things they do.