Last weekend, I participated in a Crossfit competition at the gym we go to. I love Crossfit, but to be honest, my skill level doesn’t match my excitement…at least compared to a lot of guys. So, my plan was to just have fun and do my best. Well, I ended up doing much better than I expected and placed in the top 8 after the 3 workouts to make it to the finals. I (not so secretly) hoped I wouldn’t make it because I was EXHAUSTED, and the last workout was going to be tough. Julia and Eli were there. They had come to cheer for me. Even though I was tired, I went through the final workout doing my best. About 2/3rds of the way through it I realized there were only 2 guys in front of me. By this time, my wife was going CRAZY! (in a good way) She (along with a lot of other people) was yelling as loud as she could, cheering for me. Another guy passed me near the end, but I passed him back at the finish to take 3rd place by just a few seconds. There were a lot of people cheering, but the only person I could hear was Julia. I was filled with so much joy from how happy and proud she was of me. It was a really awesome moment.
Later that day, I was pretty worthless. I spent most of the afternoon and evening with my legs propped up on the couch, drinking water, taking advil, or soaking in an epsom salt bath. And during this time Julia was AMAZING! She made sure I was ok and brought me whatever I needed. She was always on top of preventing me from doing anything that wasn’t necessary and letting me take it easy as much as I could. Let me tell you…it was AWESOME. I felt so loved by her. The way she was so proud of me all day, and the way she took care of my needs made me feel so great.
There were a couple moments during that day where I had to make decisions. And had I made them differently, my day wouldn’t have been nearly as great. In the morning, Julia asked me if I wanted her to come cheer for me. The obvious answer is YES, of course I do, but for some reason I have a tough time saying that. I know she just wants to know what my desires are, but I don’t like feeling like I’m telling her what to do. I feel if I say “yes, I want you there”, then she may just come out of obligation. If she has other things she wants to do, I want her to feel free to do them. I told her that it would be fun if she came, but she didn’t HAVE to. Well, of course she did come and I was SO glad she did. The competition wouldn’t have been NEARLY as rewarding if she hadn’t been there to cheer for me and us to experience the excitement together.
The other time was when we were at home. I generally try my best to one-up Julia in doing things at home, so it’s tough for me to let her do things FOR me. And its also tough for me to ask for help…or even realize when I need it. Once I realized that I could use the help, and I didn’t have to tough it out, all I had to do was let her know. And, I have to say…the way she was so happy to give me a chance to relax and cater to my every need was…the best…ever. I really needed it and she loved to help.
Last Saturday was one of the most enjoyable days I’ve had in a very long time. I was proud of how I did in the competition, but even more so, I was so happy for Julia and I to have been able to share the experience. And then to be able to experience the love she had for me the rest of the day was truly a blessing.
So…what does this have to do with being a loving husband? Sometimes the best way to love your wife, is to give her the chance to love you, support you, be proud of you, and take care of you. It is ok to tell her what you want. It is ok to let her take care of you. A relationship is a two way street. Don’t steal your wife’s opportunity to bless you.