I despise lazy weekend days. I know that may seem strange to many of you, but I do. I love Saturdays, but only when I have a project I’m working on, or an activity I’m doing, or some friends I have plans to hang out with. I can do lazy for a couple hours, but then I get antsy and start wandering around the house looking for things to do. One of my go-to activities to fill these lazy times is baking. If I’m not going to do anything productive, I figure I might as well use my time to make some sort of awesome dessert! Cookies, brownies, truffles, cinnamon rolls, muffins…whatever mood I happen to be in. I’ll look online, find something that looks yummy and try it out.
One day, I was in one of these moods and after pacing around the kitchen, I announced that I was going to make some biscotti. Now biscotti had been one of my staples to make. They take some effort, but turn out good and are fun to do. Well, after hearing about my plan, Julia offered her opinion in the form of, “why don’t you make some chocolate chip cookies instead?” I was a little confused. Since I already had my plan made, I didn’t really want to change, but wanted to find out the root of why she suggested the change, so I asked her if she didn’t like biscotti. She responded, “they taste like stale grandma cookies!” Ouch! I did not see that coming. So you know what I did? I made chocolate chip cookies. Why? Because they’re awesome! And because if I’m going to make something awesome…it might as well be something Julia wants too. And…that was the last time I made biscotti.
Fast forward about a year. I was making something in the kitchen the other day when Julia asked me, “Why don’t you ever make biscotti anymore? Those were SO good!” I laughed to myself and related to her my last memory of trying to make them. She was so embarrassed and apologized, and we both laughed about it. Apparently she actually does like them. Apparently she just wasn’t in the mood for them that day and thought cookies would have been better. So, about a week later, during some nothing-going-on time, I made some more biscotti. They were awesome…and the world rejoiced.
My challenge to you:
Be careful with your words. This scenario wasn’t a big deal. I wasn’t hurt and we didn’t suffer from lack of desserts (which would have been the true crime), but it is a good example to show how one small statement, that may not be what you actually mean to say, can be taken to heart and can change someone’s actions. Imagine if you made a flippant remark to your wife about an outfit, or her looks, or something she’s done for you. What kind of impact do you think that would have on her? Do you think she would remember it? Say what you mean and mean what you say.