I’ll be honest…I enjoy looking at an attractive woman. Lucky for me, I get to check out one every day…which is pretty awesome (Julia…btw). I’m pretty confident in saying that I’m not alone in this desire. What I feel is a shame is the fact that many men jump in with both feet into the world of appreciating the female body, with no restraint or boundaries. They check out women while walking around town. They enjoy watching commercials, TV shows, and movies that contain women with little or no clothing. They take pride in the movies, magazines, and websites they view that contain pornography. They do all this with friends and laugh and brag about the hot waitress that waited on them at lunch, or talk about how sexy an actress was in a movie, or discuss how attractive the new girl at the office is. When I see and hear this behavior, it really makes me sick. It shows how desires that God has blessed us with have been corrupted and used in sinful ways that hurt us (men) as well as women.
I once heard a married friend talking about how hot a girl was that was walking by. I asked him how he thought his wife would feel about that, and he said, “hey, I just like to window shop. I can look all I want, but as long as I don’t buy, it’s all good.” I hate that so many men have this opinion because it hurts their relationship with their wife even if they don’t realize it.
It Makes You Less Satisfied with what You Have:
If you are constantly looking at “attractive” women…from TV, movies, magazines, advertisements, in life…your opinion of what is “attractive” will change. Maybe when you got married, you thought your wife was HOT. But, as time went on, you continued to put images and ideas of models and actresses in your mind which caused your definition of “hot” to keep adjusting to new levels. After a while, before you realize it, you don’t see your wife as hot anymore. Now it’s tougher for you to validate to her that she IS attractive to you…because honestly, you don’t believe it yourself.
It Makes Your Wife Feel Less Loved:
If a wife sees her husband checking out another woman, or commenting on someone who looks good, she’s going to notice it. And when she notices it, it’s going to make her think, “why is he checking out that woman?” The logical conclusion is that those other women are more attractive than she is. There are few things that are going to make your wife feel less attractive and less appreciated than thinking you’re not satisfied enough with how she looks, and that you have a need to look at others to feel good. After all, who can compete with photoshopped models on magazines?!
It is Sinful:
1 John 2:16 says, “For all that is in the world – the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions – is not from the Father but is from the world.” God has given us desires. Those desires are meant to be used in a way that glorifies Him. It is my opinion that when I appreciate the woman God has made for me to be married to, it makes Him happy. However, lust and envy (aka. “checking out a woman”) are a misplaced version of that desire. This version doesn’t come from God but from the world.
Whenever Julia and I are watching TV and a lingerie commercial comes on, there is always a part of me that wants to keep watching. But, I know how it hurts me, and I know how it would hurt her for me to do so. So, I always make a big deal out of NOT watching. Maybe I’ll change the channel. Maybe I’ll throw pillows over my face. Maybe I’ll start making out with Julia instead (my personal favorite). Either way, my mind is not polluted, and Julia knows that she is the only one I want to be checking out.
My challenge to you is…GUARD YOUR EYES AND THOUGHTS. Don’t let your eyes linger on someone you see. Turn away when the TV screen is filled with less than dressed women. And lastly, stop talking about it with the guys. People will often act like their friends do. So, make the change now and maybe you can help them too.