What if your wife hates chocolates?

BoxOfChocolateIt sounds simple…loving your wife.  All you have to do is…take her on dates, cook dinner from time to time, dress nicely, keep your breath smelling good, buy her flowers, and buy her chocolates…right?  Unfortunately it’s not that simple.  What if your wife hates chocolates?  What if she doesn’t enjoy it when you cook meals?  You can’t assume that something the majority of the population appreciates applies to your wife too.

Let’s say for example that some of the things your wife loves more than anything are having a clean car and eating out at restaurants.  Those things just make her feel alive!  Instead of sneaking out to buy her some chocolates as a surprise, how about sneaking out to deep clean her car?  And instead of showing her love by cooking a meal at home, surprise her by taking her out to eat.

This seems like a no brainer, but the tricky part is how do you KNOW what those things are that she loves?  I suggest simply talking about it.  Tonight after you put the kids to bed, don’t open up the computer to do some work, don’t turn on the tv…sit down with your wife and answer these questions:

  1. What are things your spouse does that you feel loved from?
  2. What are things you wish your spouse would do that would help you feel loved?

You may be surprised at what comes out of this conversation.  Make sure to take notes and keep them where you see them frequently.  The first step to loving your wife is to know how she receives it.  The second step is to act on it.  And the best way to act on it is to be reminded of what it is.

My advice to you:

Sit down and talk with your wife going through the questions above.  Maybe tonight before bed.  Maybe on the next date you have.  It doesn’t matter when, just do it.  And then, make sure that the effort you put into loving your wife is directed in the right areas.