The number one cause of divorce is…

IMG_2153People don’t generally enter into marriage planning to get divorced.  Things are usually great at first and then…things change.  I desperately DON’T want this to happen, so it begs the question…what’s the number one cause of divorce?  Well, it depends on who you ask.  Some will say money.  Some will say children.  Some will say marital unfaithfulness.  And apparently some think it is sweatpants.  So…who really knows!?

Julia and I try to communicate about finances so we’re on the same page and make decisions together.  We love our little Eli and do our best to parent together.  We try to prevent close relationships with the opposite sex unless it is hanging out all of us together.  We made a point to not be social media “friends” with anyone we’ve ever dated before.  I feel all of these things are good, but none are guarantees.

I can tell you one thing I know.  Here are some things that are NOT the number one cause of divorce:

  • Cooking dinner for your wife
  • Telling her that you love her
  • Giving her flowers
  • Hugs / kisses
  • Writing a note telling her something sweet
  • Spending quality time together doing something you like
  • Going out on a date together
  • Buying a present just for fun
  • Cleaning the house without being asked
  • Taking the kids out as a way to give her some alone time
  • Smiling at her
  • Giving her a compliment
  • Listening to her

By the grace of God, Julia and I continue to have a great marriage.  I’m so thankful for the lessons we’ve learned over the years and the wisdom we’ve gained from others.  My goal is to continue to focus on PREVENTING divorce by avoiding bad things.  But, even more so, I want to focus on PURSUING great things!  If we can fill our relationship with awesomeness, there will be little room for the rest.

My challenge to you:

If you want to avoid divorce in your marriage, it IS important to focus on “defense”…how you can PREVENT it.  However, I think it is just as important to focus on “offense”.  Don’t just try to prevent a bad marriage from happening…actively pursue a GREAT MARRIAGE!