I believe men often don’t realize the power their words have. When something hurtful is said to them, a woman will often play it over and over in their minds. Unfortunately, there are many times when these hurtful words come from their husbands, and they didn’t even mean it…they were just trying to be funny.
Don’t Joke at Your Wife’s Expense…Ever
Something that drives me crazy is when I hear men make jokes at their wives’ expense. What’s that? You meant it in good fun? Oh, you say you were just joking? BUMP THAT! I don’t care how funny of a person you think you are, making a joke that puts your wife down is not cool. It makes you look bad. It makes your wife look bad. And it makes everyone else feel awkward even if they did politely laugh at your joke. It doesn’t matter how much you insist that it was just a joke, there is ALWAYS some element of truth in whatever you say. You may have been 99% joking that your wife looks ugly today, but the 1% that believes it is the part your wife is going to hear.
“Honey, why don’t you get back in the kitchen where you belong?”
“Oh, I just smack her around a bit when she doesn’t do what I want.”
“By my next marriage I’ll have things all figured out.”
WHY?!?! I’ve heard these words and others like them said SO many times. Sure, they’re always said with a lighthearted tone and added laughter at the end to emphasize that they weren’t serious. But, ALL jokes like this have at least the smallest element of truth in them. Nothing good can come from talking like this, so just don’t do it!
Another aspect to this topic is when your wife is NOT around. Even though she is not there to hear and be hurt by what you say, you still need to be careful for several reasons…
- What habits you create in the way you talk when your wife is NOT around will make it more likely to act that way when she IS.
- Even though she’s not there at the moment, it is always possible for her to hear what you said from someone.
- Be careful not to lead your friends into bad habits. If they see you making jokes about your wife, then they will be more likely to feel it is acceptable and expected of them too
When in doubt, with any words you use…be genuine, be loving, and build her up not tear her down!