How to be fluent in gift giving

iStock_000014778365XSmallGift giving is one way some people receive love.  (See previous post for thoughts on love languages)  It can be something that is purchased or made that shows that you thought of them.  It doesn’t have to be huge or fancy, but should show there was a cost involved.  The cost could be monetary or in time or creativity.  And it should be something that the other person appreciates.

For me, gifts from my wife aren’t a huge deal.  My usual initial reaction is to think, “how are we paying for this?” which can put a damper on my joy unfortunately.  Julia feels love in a big way when she receives gifts though.  It shows her that I was thinking of her and she is THAT important to me to be worth the time, money, and effort it cost.  Because of this I try to give them whenever possible.  Ironically, I usually don’t enjoy giving presents as much on Christmas, her birthday, Valentine’s Day, or our anniversary.  I like to give them on random days just for fun.  That way, she knows I was thinking of her, not just following what “society” told me I needed to do.  A while back, I planned a whole week of presents and gave her one each morning as a surprise.  It was SO much fun.

If your wife receives love in this way, make sure you’re giving her gifts on a regular basis.  Here are some ideas…

  • Flowers (always a good idea)
  • Candy (or some sort of food she likes)
  • Framed picture (of you two or of the family)
  • A DVD she likes
  • Clothes you think she’ll like (with a return receipt just in case)
  • Gift card to a store / restaurant she likes
  • Vacation (my favorite gift to Julia ever was a trip to Italy…I told her 3 days before we left)
  • Household decoration (accent pillow, wall hanging, decorative vase, etc…something you think she’ll like…with a return receipt)
  • Utilitarian item that she has wanted (blender, cooking items, dustbuster, etc…something she has expressed a desire for)
  • A card that you made
  • Starbucks coffee

Any of these, if given in a way that shows you were thinking of her will help her to feel loved.  So, figure out what she likes and do it!